Do you scoff at rewards for kids? Instead of scoffing, give it a try.

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Determining What to do

Kids these days! Insert some fist-shaking and old man grumbling. You’ve heard it, maybe even thought it or said it. They get trophies for everything these days. Isn’t that the frequent refrain? Perhaps instead of grumbling about it, we should learn from it when trying to change our behavior.

I’m a bit of a connoisseur of habit research. A few years ago, I knew that my current lifestyle was killing me. I was overwhelmed, dragging myself through my days, barely sleeping at night, and then getting up to repeat it all over again.

Not unsurprisingly, I was growing more and…


Don’t let other’s discomfort slow your growth

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The Set-Up

Have you been working to improve your mental health? Maybe you are making strides to overcome past trauma? Good for you! Enjoy that feeling of pride and accomplishment while you can because likely others will resist the changes in you. You will need that newly found inner strength to weather it.

I’m not a therapist, not licensed to work in mental health. I don’t claim to be. What I am is a fellow warrior. I have experienced trauma through sexual abuse as a child and had an undiagnosed chronic illness that caused mental instability.

Both of these led to diagnoses…


The science behind setting goals.

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Everyone is pushing goal setting either through blogs, podcasts, or best-selling books. I’ve jumped on that train myself with vision boards and goal setting journals, but I’ve gotten curious about what science says and the best way to write them.

Should they be SMART goals?

Or maybe written in the present tense as if I’ve accomplished them already.

Others suggest rewriting daily.

I’ve used each of the above strategies, but I started to wonder who says that they are useful. I know I’ve had success with some of the above tactics, but in wanting to share more about setting short…


It’s time to give yourself a break.

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Do you have trouble falling asleep? Trouble staying asleep? Do you toss and turn, then wake up exhausted?

Whenever I talked to a doctor or therapist about sleep, these were the usual questions. My answer was yes. Yes, to all of them.

Sometimes, it could be physical symptoms like joint pain or a migraine that kept me up, but more often than not, it was a racing mind. Sleep would remain elusive when worrying thoughts crept in because there was nothing else to distract me. …


This is not your typical article on writing, and I’m okay with that.

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The Bare Facts

During the last two months, I didn’t write. Life was in flux as I made significant changes, and writing felt like a luxury that I did not have time for. Yet, I missed it. Writing serves many purposes for me; most importantly, it is a release and mental clearinghouse. When I write, the article that I start often transforms into something different than I thought it would be. Writing serves to help me gain perspective, reason through issues, and take a step back.

During these past two months, I gained more followers than I have during any other previous months…


Do you spend all your time with your head down, never noticing how far you’ve come?

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Stop right now and think back to six months ago and then a year ago. What were the things that you wished you could do? What were your goals? Did you imagine adding something to your life that you longed for? It could be a daily opportunity to write. Or maybe it was time to run each day.

What did you want to eliminate from your life? Did you have a job that you disliked or that didn’t align with your goals? Maybe you needed to end a toxic relationship. …


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What happens when you don’t walk away from the articles that increase your anxiety.

A week ago, I challenged myself to dig in as a writer and write about everything that made me anxious to put into words. These were all of the topics that I had blocked out basic articles for then quietly closed them, leaving them to linger in my drafts. The ones that gave me a tight feeling in my stomach when I’d reopen them trying to force myself to finish the hard part.

These weren’t stories that may have been hard for others.

In fact, some may seem oddly easy to others.

The one focused on education and parents who…


I’m not sure how I should classify myself anymore when it comes to religion.

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Somewhere in the Middle

I grew up in a Christian family, attended Sunday school and Bible study, and raised my kids in the church. However, now, in my late forties, I don’t quite know what I’d call myself. I know I wouldn’t be considered a good Christian anymore. I have far too many doubts and questions. But I don’t think I’m an atheist either.

This lack of classification leaves me with a vague feeling. When I read and hear things linked to religion, I find I am always internally gauging my reaction.

I pledged to myself last week that I would spend this week…


Photo by Quang Anh Ha Nguyen from Pexels

When our default for getting healthy is shame and self-bullying, joy can be hard to accept.

Identifying Change

I need to lose weight and get healthier. There is no challenge in identifying the problem. I am obese. Why I’m so overweight is tangled up in a myriad of causes. They lead back to diet culture, mental health issues, an illness that causes binge eating, trauma, and unhealthy patterns.

Those aren’t excuses, but instead, an honest look at how, when we see someone who is obese, it is not as simple as telling them to lose weight.

I want to be fit and healthy; whatever number on the scale comes with that.

However, it is not that simple when…


My wounds from my childhood, combined with chronic illness, hurt my ability to parent.

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The Ugly Foundation

I always wanted to be a parent.

I thought I’d do it well.

I had experience with little kids as an elementary school teacher.

It seemed like it would be automatic.

Yet, for so many years, I was not the excellent parent I wanted to be.

Likely you won’t be surprised to hear that experiencing trauma, in the form of sexual abuse as a child by more than one perpetrator, left me with a less than firm foundation mentally. For years I blocked it out until I had children of my own. It was then it came roaring to the…

Becky Jones

Changing it all up by leaving public school education to pursue writing, mental wellness, and share strategies. https://www.imperfectlypeaceful.com/hire-me

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